Carnal Pleasures
by xXDonkeyShlongXx
Summary: The story of Wario's sexual expression


Wario slowly approached the couch of his castle, and sat. It had been a long day of plundering. He let out a long "Waaaa…", as he reached down and took off his Wario-sized XXXL pants, slowly revealing his Lucky Star Miyuki character print underwear. His deal glistened in the professionally lit room.

Wario grabbed his Wii U tablet controller with his big, meaty man hands, and turned on his 442" wall TV. He raised his large, slimy, sausage finger, and opened the internet app. He opened his bookmarks, and selected OnionHub. He searched "Slimy Onion Perusal". He selected the first option.

The lights dim, smooth jazz began playing, as Shrek, naked, envelopes the screen.

Shrek reveals a pair of onions, as Wario's meat sausage grows to 3 feet, bursting his tight underpants.

Shrek slowly rests the onions on his magnificent skin, as Wario loses control, and starts furiously beating his meat cock. Shrek begins rubbing the onions on his nipples, as Wario's furious baloney pony beating approaches mach 1.

Shrek starts molding his magnificent face into different forms, as he slowly increases the ferocity and speed of his vicious rubbing. Sparks begin to fly from the friction, as Wario begins screaming uncontrollably at the magnificent sight.

Small flames protrude from the friction of Wario's doinker beating. He was beating his ham dick as if it owed him a large portion of money, as Shrek's onion rubbing was going fast enough to not be visible to the naked eye.

Wario began to reach his climax, as Shrek rubs faster, faster, and faster! Wario couldn't take it anymore, a low rumbling sound begins to envelop the room. Suddenly, the TV screen cracks…

The TV screen shatters into onion-shaped shards, as Wario's johnny explodes, destroying the room, coating everything with his dick juice. The room, smelling like onions, begins to rumble, and rumble some more.

Before Wario knew it, the room exploded, and reformed, blasting him into space. Wario begins to lose consciousness from the combined exertion of the previous dick beating, and the lack of oxygen. He falls unconscious.

Wario's eyes slowly open, and his eyes adjust to the light. He's sitting in a bed, in a room with moving illustrations of the galaxy. "Waaa… Where am I?" Wario groans. He shakes himself awake, and gets out of his bed. He slowly opens the door to his room.

Wario "Waa"s in amazement. He's standing on a spaceship, filled with lumas, and other rooms like his. Suddenly, he's grabbed by a pair of lumas, who drag him to the center of the construct. "Waa! Where are you taking me?" Wario speaks in his thick onion accent. The lumas make not a peep.

Suddenly, he's placed before a beautiful woman with blond hair and blue eyes, slender in figure, cloaked in a white dress. She speaks, twiddling her wand. "Hello, Wario."

Wario scrunches his face and retracts his neck. "Who the fucking onion are you?" She seems to not be offended, as she responds. "My name is Rosalina, but that does not matter. What does… Is that…"

Rosalina slowly points her wand at Wario's disco stick. "Oh, waa sees what this is…" Wario slowly pulls down his pants, once again revealing his Lucky Star Miyuki character print underwear.

Rosalina's dress flies off from solar radiation. Wario is too engrossed in his thoughts to process his vision, and his donkey schlong once again grows to 3 feet. His johnny is magically magnetized to Rosalina's anus, as he begins thrusting at mach 1.

Wario shouting "waa" with every thrust, as if a machine gun that can't stop firing, contrasted with Rosalina's expressionless apathy. Suddenly, rosalina pushes wario away, and he finally looks down.

Down where Rosalina's lady bits should be is a large johnny. Rosalina reaches for the zipper at her neck, and pulls, removing the suit that really concealed someone else.

Waluigi stood there, and let out a menacing "Waa". "You thought it was Rosalina, but actually, it was me, Waluigi!" Waluigi spoke menacingly. "I knew this would happen, you fucking onion." Wario shouts vigorously.

Before Wario could react, Waluigi shouts "Donkey Shlong!", summoning his stand, an ape made of dicks!

Faster than the human eye could observe, Donkey Shlong penetrates all of Wario's holes at once, thrusting at mach 10! Donkey Shlong penetrates Wario so fast his very soul is shaken. Suddenly, Donkey Shlong stops…

All of Donkey Shlong's johnnys stop at once, being held… By Wario's stand, xXShlongDestroyer69Xx! xXShlongDestroyer69Xx suddenly uppercuts Donkey Shlong, wrecking all of it's johnnys. Wario squirts blood from his face, as his suit begins to fall off…

Revealing Rosalina! she recovers from the blast, and slowly shakes herself awake. "Oh Wario, you're my hero! That doog dude Waluigi ate me, but now I'm free!"

"Just another day for Wario, madam!"

"Just one last thing Wario…"

Wario makes a puzzled face and lets out a "Waa?"

And then they had sex.

THE END


End file.
